Just thinking outloud

i dont want to love him

i dont want to anymore

he's happier without that connection to me.

why cant i let it go

why cant i let it be

i want to

i really really really dont want to feel this way, but i cant make it go away

he's go to think im fucking nuts

this makes the 2nd? 3rd? possibly 4th end between us?

its bad enoug that im losing someone i'm inlove with....but im losing my best friend...the one i should run to when this happens.


i'm going to be good, be patient.....hope. will it help? or will it hurt?

i dont know

it gives me somthing to think about while i listen to these 1 billion pitiful whiney ass breakup songs though.


maybe ill make a list...yea, ill do that. something to occupy my time


you arent reading this...you can't read this, but i love you. more than i should, more than i want to...i love you

i dont know what i want

im just confused, and lost and hurt

i dont know how to make things better, or what i did wrong


im pretty sure i fucked up though, i dont know how...maybe...if i figure it out i can fix it


i dont know


how can 3 years end in 1 night?


sigh